Two years ago today we sat a crossed from a doctor who so nonchalantly tossed out the words Retina Blastoma (cancer) in regards to Carter’s detached retina. Although an immediate reaction might have been fear and hopelessness instead, a numbness occurred within my heart. Thankfully that numbness turned quickly into prayer and a dependence on our faithful and loving Creator. We had no idea exactly what the next 29 days, countless miles, and numerous doctor appointments would bring. We did trust that those things would bring peace that surpasses all understanding and a period of time that we now look back on and mightily see God’s hands all over.
The mind is a powerful thing. It’s amazing how I still tear up when I think of that first phone call from Amy. I clearly recall the trembling in her voice when she first spoke vocalizing the concern and uncertainty that she was dealing with. I still weep when I recall sitting in that doctors office. I can remember passing certain towns on the drive down to the Retina Blastoma center in Houston and how it felt so cloudy yet was clearly a sunny September day. I’ll never forget watching Carter walk back with the nurse and Amy to be tested and feeling my stomach churn. I’ll never forget this time. And I’ll never forget that, as shocked as we were, our Sovereign God knew exactly what was going on and held are family tightly within His grasp.
I’ll always remember my dad praying for me over the phone when I first tried to put into words what was rushing through my mind. It was comforting although I have no recall of what he actually prayed. It didn’t matter what he prayed but that he was praying and to whom it was directed. I still have text messages, emails, social media posts sent to me on this day as friends and family heard the potential for cancer in our sweet 6 year old.
And I will NEVER forget God bringing to mind Romans 8:28:
“And we know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose.”
And we saw this verse come to fruition just a week later when Topher gave his life to Christ trusting in Him in the midst of Carter’s trials. Yep, we will never forget this season in our lives. The bad memories and the good ones will always be there and will always remind us of how amazing our God is.