I know I just posted the other day but Topher asked if he could write something for the blog. I love that he was willing to be vulnerable and thought you would love his perspective.
Hi, my name is Topher, and I am the big brother of Carter. I want to share my journey through the journey of Carter’s black eye. If you’ve read about his story you know how tough it was for my mom and dad, but it was different for me.
It all started when Carter stated that his left eye was really blurry and that he couldn’t see anything. I thought that we were going to the eye doctor to get glasses. I brought my iPod and was jamming out in the waiting room while my brother was getting his eyes checked. I got bored and so I went to go sit inside with my mom. The doctor came and told Carter and I to go outside so that he could talk to my mom. My mom came out and I could tell that she had been crying because her eyes were red. Driving home, I asked her what the problem was, but she said that she couldn’t say anything in front of Carter.
That night my dad came in my room and simply sat down next to me on the bed. He said that Carter’s Retina was detached. I asked why, and he said that he either had a disease….. or cancer. My eyes started tearing up, I mean, I had heard of people who had cancer, it just didn’t occur to me that it could be in my family.
It was a hard week at school; I didn’t speak or joke around like I would usually do. People would ask me what was wrong and I told them that I didn’t want to talk about it right now. My brother kept going to doctors, they would try to figure out what he had, but my mom and dad would always come back with no answer. Then, they came back from a doctor (can’t remember his name because of how many he had) and they said that they might have to take his eye out. That hit me like train. I had been hoping that it was just the disease. To have the whole eye removed, not your daily activity. My dad said that they wanted to keep it because they believed that God could do a miracle and that if he didn’t, then it was going to be fine because it was God’s plan.
The week of Carter’s surgery, Pastor Gary and Pastor Mike came over to pray. They asked that God use Carter’s life to be a testimony to the world. Now, when they showed up, I knew we were going to pray and then be through. I kept promising myself that I wasn’t going to cry in front of the leaders of the church, but when they said that, I started bawling. I mean, think about, God always has a plan, even if it doesn’t go OUR way (Jeremiah 29:11).
That Sunday, my Junior High Pastor, Warren, talked about putting all of our trust into God. You’ve probably already read this story about trust, but if not, please do so because it will help you a lot. I learned my parents couldn’t fix this problem, and that I needed all my trust in God (read the story, it will make more since and it will tell you more on how I put all my trust in God). One time when my dad was praying with me, (he made me cry for the second time now, come on dad), he said that if it was God’s plan for Carter’s eye to be removed just so that I would put all my trust in Him, then PRAISE God for that.
Carter’s eye looks so much better and it has been so much easier now that I have all my trust in God. He still has that same attitude towards life; he doesn’t care if he’s different then other kids and only has one eye. He’s still that crazy Super Spy Cowboy, mixed with a Super Hero along with a hint of Police Men – yep that’s my brother! My brother means the world to me, and his surgery has brought my bro and I closer than ever. Now you know how I felt during this situation, and I’m so glad to share my story with you. I LOVE YOU CARTER! (and now I’m crying a third time.).